I Dreamed I was a Ballerina

For years, I looked up to the older girls in my dance studio. I longed for the day when I would be be able to dance on my toes and have my own pink satin shoes with ribbons. When I was eleven, my class was finally starting point and I bought my first pair of pointe shoes. I spent hours sewing on the ribbons and elastic, and weeks breaking them in. I would only be dancing thirty minuets on the bar and my feet would be begging me to stop. Taking them off was a great relief and my feet would be red and swollen. It wasn't just the pain either, it was frustrating not being strong enough to do what I wanted.  Every time I would think "Why am I doing this to myself?", I would remember that little girl who looked up to the "big girls" and dreamed of being a ballerina. Over the years, I got stronger, I was never the best girl in my class and there was always an older girl in the studio I looked up too. For years it was Kayley, she could do things I couldn't on flat shoes, she was clearly the best in the studio. The way she danced was so effortless, but she was also home schooled so she could dance more. She danced every single day, and every one knew she was going to be a professional dancer, she joined the San Francisco ballet company when she was seventeen. 

I realized at the beginning of the year with school and after-school eMotion practices, I don't have time to take ballet class anymore. I miss it and I'm disappointed that I didn't go as far as I wanted. I know the little girl would be proud that I achieved my dream, I became a ballerina. I always looked forward to the feeling I would get buying my first pair of pointe shoes, but I never thought for a second what hanging up my last pair would feel like.